Intoxicating Fragrance

With a late summer thunderstorm on the horizon, I decided to spend some time in the Spirit outside in anticipation of the much needed rain. Nothing makes me feel closer to God than being outside with the energy of a storm.

I can feel Him everywhere.

the way my skin prickles when lightning lights up the sky
the way the thick air envelops my lungs and makes them feel heavy
the fragrance of Heaven falling in tiny droplets around my bare feet
the withered leaves on my parched and ugly and dying tree that sway ever so gently and beautifully with every orchestrated gust
the dryness of the dirt swirling into the street only to be greeted with a roll
of thunder to match the visual movement
the reminder that healing waters cleanse, and that I am thirsty

"I find I'm moving to the rhythm of Your grace, your fragrance is intoxicating in our secret place. Your love is extravagant." Casting Crowns

Seeing the Forest for the Trees

Three words have been entering my rhetoric repeatedly over the last week.

First, is obedience which is defined as "from the Latin word meaning 'to listen,' obedience is the virtue of entrusting oneself to proper authority".

Second, is discernment which Webster says is "delicate discrimination".

Third, is sovereign which ultimately is "supreme authority over all things".

I read certain passages of the Bible and up would pop discernment. I had conversations with mentors and leaders, and I would continuously question my obedience. I saw Facebook posts and had text conversations where sovereign was brought up numerous times. I still am not sure on what this all means, but I do know when God wants me to know something, this is how He does it.

When I hear the definition of discernment, it reminds me of being in an art gallery and trying to determine if proper aesthetics were achieved by the artist in a way that captivates an audience. Isn't that how it is with Jesus? He wants us to submit to him through obedience so that we may discern His call in order to captivate others even though He is thesovereign one.

I'm feeling called in so many directions by three separate callings. Each calling is very specific. Strangely enough they all began in my late teen years, but choose to all come to a head at once in an overwhelming fashion.

Someone who is very wise told me today that I need to press forward with those callings so I don't become complacent to being obedient. He also told me to ask God everyday to show me what it is I need to see THAT day and everything will turn out for my sovereign God's will.

Proverbs 2:1-8 (ESV)
My son, if you receive my words
and treasure up my commandments with you,
making your ear attentive to wisdom
and inclining your heart to understanding;
yes, if you call out for insight
and raise your voice for understanding,
if you seek it like silver
and search for it as for hidden treasures,
then you will understand the fear of the Lord
and find the knowledge of God.
For the Lord gives wisdom;
from his mouth come knowledge and understanding;
he stores up sound wisdom for the upright;
he is a shield to those who walk in integrity,
guarding the paths of justice
and watching over the way of his saints.

Jesus, what beautiful words you have given me to live by. Thank you for your calling within my life for missions, family and friendship. Allow me to hear Your voice clearly so that I may discern where in my life You need me to be obedient.
Amen

Sneaky Jesus...Sweet Butter

Jesus is sneaky.
I feel him smirking at me right now while saying, "You had no earthly idea of what you were in for.... The mission is also about the journey."

I am a calloused person that refuses to be softened but yet have already formed a bond of a lifetime with a few people that I already love dearly. Strong women: Ones that throw encouragement at you when you whine about everything, ones that bring you coffee just to brighten your day, ones that call you on a Saturday morning to remind you to be at church and to save them a seat at women's fellowship, ones that wait 20 minutes to eat their food simply because you haven't received yours yet, ones that keep at you to join their community group while smiling and flashing her warm and nourishing eyes, ones that remind you to be still and know God, ones that rock out at a concert with you and them promise to pray for you, ones that believe a fond friendship is built in faith first.

Jesus is sneaky.
He finds a way through a week of discouragement to show me my mother in law cares for me like one of her own. Yes, I've always known this, but God whacked me aside the head with it last night. My mother in law moved me to tears over the phone. I know she supports me in this journey whole-heartedly, and to hear that I touched her heart completley moves me like a tree in a hurricane.

Jesus is sneaky, and it makes my heart sing. Bring It! This heart is butter for you, Jesus...sweet butter.

Team Kenya

I applied for my passport, and things are starting to sink in that in four and a half months I will be leaving for Kenya. I'm so not looking forward to immunizations and the headache that is supposed to follow the yellow fever one. Challenges are beginning to show themselves regularly which further affirms that we are meant to go. I thought I wouldn't think of Kenya every single day until closer to us leaving. I couldn't have been any more WRONG! My heart is consumed with Kenya, my team and the way my heart is changing.

Everything I Learned about Christianity, I Learned from Starbucks

Ok...not literally, but let me elaborate. I brag on Starbucks' customer service skills daily. I use the baristas as examples on how to brighten someone's day. In 24 hours, I have consumed over 60 ounces of coffee (yes I have an addiction), but the last couple of days I have felt nostalgic (and jittery). We as Christian's could take a few lessons from these shiny happy people that make my heart swell.

Everyday is a good day at Starbucks. They welcome you into a warm, cozy environment and provide you with exactly what you need. They don't ask questions, and are more than happy to offer encouragement and suggestions for trying something new. If they see you look more tired than usual, they offer a complimentary shot of espresso. Starbucks associates are part of a "team" in a way such that they flow together like a well oiled machine. They express true koinonia by sharing all monetary tips. This last one is a big one: they memorize your name and face and make you feel like they are on a mission specifically for you.

Last night I had the opportunity to have church with some divine people on the patio of a Starbucks and couldn't help but notice the parallelism. Sometimes I feel disappointed because we lack the service aspect more often than not. Church can happen anywhere. Jesus could be the owner of Starbucks, or a barista, or a bum begging for spare change for a cup of joe. Service and community...and Starbucks is where it's at.

I pray that God gives me the capability to be a person with a heart of service and community on a daily basis and gives me frequent epiphanies on how to brighten someone's day simply by glorifying God.

What I've Overcome

I'm sure most people could write a blog with the same content as this one. We could all talk about the struggles and hardships our lives have brought us and how they mold us into who we are as individuals. One thing that may differ between us: God. I am changed and have overcome extreme obstacles in my life only from the grace of God. He has changed me. I am new. I praise Him even when the rain is pouring down. Praise during turmoil is the one main thing that has changed my life completely. I talk to Jesus more than my husband or my children. The more I listen, the more He talks.

I still face defeat. I still face the chance of falling. I do know this; every time I fall, I am picked up more quickly than the last time. I am thankful to serve a loving God that treasures me and has plans for me.

My plans are big, and I have always known this. Now is the time I become the hands and feet of Jesus. I was made to be a servant. Please pray that my eyes and heart remain open along the way of my faithful walk with Jesus wherever it is that He leads me to go.